Hi, I'm currently in the midst of preparation for my upcoming professional exam, and I have really been sitting down and thinking about this for a long time, deciding on whether i should or shouldn't do the thing that, for others, might be something that irks them. And I've really been trying to muster up my courage but apparently, when looking forward, judging both the pros and cons, observing the long way of life that is there ahead of me, waiting to be unveiled, i think, it's better for me not to -- confess.
But I still need to get it out, here, so that I'll be able to move on, put this 'thing behind me and really, completely, letting it go, allowing myself to explore the wonderful (and quite sometime scary) uncertainties that life has got to offer to me; meeting up with new people, getting to know them, putting trust in them, and allowing myself to actually love someone. He'll never come across this blog or this post, cause i, for sure know that the feeling is not mutual, therefore...yes i hope you get what i'm tryna say here
So, let's start.
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Hi, there. It's me Athirah. Idk whether you saved my number or not, but here's the thing.
I..like you. And I'm pretty sure it's not just a fling, but in other to be really sure that it's love, i think I need to know you more. Cause I don't just want to simply utter the word, love. And I don't really wish for anything from you cause again, I'm pretty sure that it's not mutual and it really is okay because love is not a possession, you can't force someone to like you and you can't keep them either, for that'll only damage their wing. I'm just here, stating, baring my feelings out, laying it down, clarifying it, for you to acknowledge (?).
I want to be able to move on, cause I really don't like this feeling, in a way, cause it makes me feel intimidated, having low self-confidence, and, it seize away my awesome ability to talk to a guy who i normally, have no problem in conversing with them. So yep, that's the main reason.
But I really hope, that the consequence of me telling you this won't be that much of severe/bad, I hope it won't change a thing between us, cause we've only started to be friends, by working together, so I'm crossing my fingers, hoping that this won't change what we've already have for each other. I'm not keen on losing another friendship that I have only started to cherish, cause it's worthless, and i don't want to end up hating on you, if, you ever decided to not befriend me since you are uncomfortable, etc, cause it's pretty tiring to have to create list on why I should hate you. It's unfair for you, cause you're really amazing, I really hope you can see that by your own, and also, it's not good for my EQ aspect.
Nobody has to know, this involves not only you, in the end, but me too. So we're cool yeah? Cheers to many more years of friendship (hopefully)
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I'm done. it felt like something huge has been lifted off my chest. Thank God. To future me, here's a letter for you
with love, Athirah
POSTED BY nurathirah ON Sunday, 9 June 2019 @ 15:21
